


A Lesson in Consent

by MrsLittletall



Category: Bloodborne (Video Game)
Genre: Crying, Discussions of Prostitution, Hurt/Comfort, Laurence has a massively fucked up sense of consent, Lots of Crying, Ludwig is the sweetest boyfriend ever, M/M, Self Loathing, and the fic this is inspired from is very much explicit, but they discuss heavy topics, companion piece to a dark fic, discussions of rape/non-con, only that the hurt happened in another fic, self hatred, so I am taking no risks, while this fic is marked explicit there isn't actually any smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:14:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29822010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsLittletall/pseuds/MrsLittletall
Summary: After a horrible experience, Laurence gets comforted by Ludwig, who soon has to find out that Laurence has a very warped sense of consent. A lesson is in order.
Relationships: Laurence/Ludwig (Bloodborne)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	A Lesson in Consent

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lady_gt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_gt/gifts).
  * Inspired by [body, body](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26057995) by [lady_gt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_gt/pseuds/lady_gt). 



> This is a continuation of the fic “body, body” by lady_gt, which is a fantastic dark fic, but only featured hurt/no comfort. I did take it upon myself to write the comfort part of it, especially after I saw how warped and messed up Laurence' sense of consent is. This means, these aren't my interpretations of Laurence and Ludwig, but the ones of lady_gt, the author of “body, body”. 
> 
> This fic won't make much sense without having read “body, body”, and while there isn't any smut in here, there are discussions of rape/non-con in here, as well as Laurence selling his body when he wasn't even of age, so I prefer to rate this story as Explicit, because of the heavy topics handled in here. 
> 
> lady_gt, I love when Laurence' gets his ass destroyed, but he needs some comfort in a while. So here, I hope you enjoy my interpretation of your Laurence and Ludwig and I hope to see some fluff and some darkfic of you again once you feel better.

“Laurence! Are you sick? What's wrong?” 

Ludwig kneels in front of Laurence, having one hand tentatively reaching out, but not touching him. Just as the smell of his own vomit starts to reach Laurence, he starts to sob. 

What's wrong? Nothing should be wrong. He knows that he deserved what happened to him, he only was good to be used and the fact that he had let get it to him... he was nothing short but _pathetic... pathetic... pathetic..._

Laurence feels how his body is getting lifted up by Ludwig's strong hands. He can hear that Ludwig is saying something to him, but can't make it out over the noise of his crying. He's feeling as he is walking through fog as Ludwig guides him forward and sits down with him on a hard, but slightly warm surface. 

There, Ludwig just holds him, shushes him and whispers words that Laurence can't make out in his ear, all while he is violently shaking and his tears won't stop spilling out of his eyes. Too fresh the memory of what happened, to deep the feeling of guilt, that he alone was responsible and how stupid he had been to think that things could ever change. 

Now he is crying his eyes out, about a thing that he vowed to tell nobody even a thing about (the memory of that knife at his throat was still so strong that he could practically feel it) and especially not to Ludwig, who doesn't deserve any of that, one of the few people who doesn't know about his past and... all the abominable things he did to even be here. 

Eventually, Laurence' shaking and crying ebbs down, only a few more hiccups coming from him as he raises his arm to wipe his face with a sleeve, Ludwig gently pressing it back down and handing him a handkerchief instead. Laurence accepts without a word and wipes his eyes and the snot from his nose, then simply staring down at the dirty handkerchief, not a single word coming out of his mouth. 

“I assume you aren't in the mood for a walk anymore.”, Ludwig says next to him and slowly, Laurence nods. His legs feel like jelly, he's sure that he won't be able to take more than a few steps before he collapses. 

“Do you want to go back to your dorm maybe?” Laurence quickly shakes his head. No, not there. Ludwig can't see... he didn't clean up the mess. More so, that he doesn't want to get into his dorm right now, the room he thought he was safe in and then it had been this very place in which he had got a harsh reminder where he belonged. 

“Shall we get to my dorm instead?”, Ludwig asks, rubbing circles in Laurence' back. How long had he already done that? Laurence seemed to have just noticed it a few seconds ago, his body feeling too numb to actually feel anything. 

He slowly nods at Ludwig's suggestion. He can't stay out here, risking to be seen as this crying mess. As much as he had looked forward to taking a walk with Ludwig, he needs to get back inside. As long as it isn't his dorm... 

Ludwig gets up and helps Laurence standing up as well, supporting him at the shoulder and slowly walking to his dorm. Laurence still hasn't managed to say a single word, but Ludwig has never pushed him. 

_I don't deserve you._ , Laurence thinks to himself as they walk back to the dorm. _You don't deserve to be with someone as disgusting as me..._

Laurence barely registers the walk to the dorm, he comes back to his senses once Ludwig helps him sit down on the edge of his bed. The next thing he registers is holding a glass of water in his hand. He raises it to his lips and once the first drops net his tongue, he is getting reminded of the foul taste of vomit still lingering on it and he spits it out, into a receptacle that Ludwig must have put beside him. 

Laurence has the feeling that he can never get fully rid of the foul taste, just as he never can get rid of the dirt under his skin, as much as he scrubbed, it would never get away. However, once his mouth doesn't feel as foul anymore, he notices how parched he is and eagerly gulps away the contents of the glass, the water tastes a bit stale, but Laurence doesn't care. 

Once Laurence has emptied the glass, he holds it in both hands and stares at it. He sees how Ludwig reaches for the water, murmuring: “Oh, let me get you a second glass, you must be rather thirsty after crying so much.” 

Laurence doesn't let him. Just when Ludwig removes the glass from Laurence' hands and he turns around to leave the room, Laurence grabs with both of his arms for Ludwig's right one. He doesn't want to be alone right now. He knows that he is whiny and pathetic, but he doesn't care, as long as Ludwig stays with him. 

Ludwig turns around again and sits himself down on the bed besides Laurence. 

“What happened?”, he asks, carefully stroking over Laurence' hair. “What happened to you that transformed you into the crying mess I held earlier?” 

For a brief second, the thought of confessing flashes through Laurence' mind, but then he shakes his head. He can't... can't talk about it. He isn't allowed to. More so, because he deserved what had happened to him. All of a sudden, Laurence' mind and body feels very tired and he flops over on Ludwig's bed, burying his face in Ludwig's pillow, the puffy red eyes that already threaten to spill tears again and the pretty face that will always mark him as nothing more but someone to use. 

He hears Ludwig sigh next to him. “I better give you some time.”, he says. Laurence hears how he gets up. He returns only a few seconds later and lays a blanket over Laurence, tucks him in, straightens the blanket over him and while he does so, his hand connects with Laurence' rear and the motion is awfully similar to a stroke. 

When it happens, Laurence gasps and a single word escapes his throat. “No.”, he says and he freezes, Ludwig freezes too, though Laurence doesn't know why, because he knows that it doesn't matter, Ludwig will just take what he wants and already he goes limp, waiting for the inevitable to happen. He knew that Ludwig would stop being kind to him one day, he knew it, just had this day to be today? Laurence closes his eyes and waits, but when nothing happens, he opens them again to see Ludwig's face hover in front of him, realization shining in his eyes. 

“Laurence.”, Ludwig says and lays his hand on his rear again. “You don't want for me to do this?” 

Laurence shakes his head. He knows he doesn't want it, but what does it matter, Ludwig is doing it anyway, because he deserves it, he knows he will get off to it soon enough, gods, he is so pathetic. How could he have ever thought that he deserved better? 

“Your body says otherwise.”, Ludwig says and removes his hand. “You are all tensed up. You don't want this.” 

Laurence doesn't reply at first. It's hard for him to wrap his head around what Ludwig just said. He doesn't... want it. Yes, he doesn't want it, but why should it matter, when Ludwig can do to him whatever he wants? Laurence just will endure it, like he always did, when he had whored himself away to escape his miserable life on the streets. 

His body goes limp. “You can do to me... whatever you want.”, he says, his voice reminiscent of the time when he had a paying customer, even though nobody had paid him since he was at Byrgenwerth. 

“No.”, Ludwig says. “Laurence, this...”, Ludwig is making some exaggerated gestures at him, “...is wrong.” 

“Wrong?”, Laurence asks, raising his head from the pillow to look more clearly at Ludwig's face, nothing but worry and concern in him. “How is it wrong?” 

“You aren't consenting right now.”, Ludwig says softly. “I didn't even plan to sleep with you in the first place, taking advantage of you in this situation, how awful. That my hand rested on your butt has simply been a coincidence, though your reaction to it...”, Ludwig grows quiet for a small while, before repeating his earlier question. “Laurence, what happened? Won't you tell me?”

The tone in which Ludwig carries over the question almost makes Laurence confess the whole scene to him, but he keeps quiet at the last second when he remembers the feeling of the knife on his throat. He shakes his head again. “I can't.”, he says. “Can't... talk about it.” 

“Laurence.”, Ludwig softly cups Laurence' face with his hands and looks directly into his eyes. “Please, just answer me this one question. It's fine if you just shake or nod your head.” Ludwig takes a deep breath. “Did you get violated?” 

At first Laurence wants to shake his head. He deserved it, it had to happen to him and Iro had just taken what Laurence had offered in the first place. Then, Laurence remembers what Ludwig had told him just a few moments ago. 

_You aren't consenting right now._

During the whole scene, hadn't Laurence begged Iro to stop? Hadn't he shook his head and denied Iro the whole time, until he had been forced into silence by the knife that glistened in the shoddy light of his dorm? 

Slowly, very slowly, he nods his head. He sees how Ludwig's face contorts itself in his rage. 

“Who?”, Ludwig says, barely able to contain his anger, “Who did this to you?!” 

Laurence shakes his head again. He can't say anything anymore. He has said too much. He can feel tears well up in his eyes again. 

Laurence feels himself sinking down in the pillow as Ludwig lets go of him. Heavy footsteps echo away from the bed and Laurence can hear how something fragile breaks, probably in a million of pieces. It's odd how much he feels reminded of himself, he has broken into millions of pieces a long time ago, always gluing the pieces back together, telling himself that one day he would be whole again. 

When Ludwig returns to the bed, his face isn't contorted by anger anymore. “Laurence.”, he asks. “How are you feeling?” 

“Guilty.”, Laurence says, not raising his head from the pillow, instead staring vacantly at nothing. _Ashamed also._

“Guilty?”, Ludwig asks, Laurence can feel how he sits down on the bed. “Why should you feel guilty? It wasn't your fault.” 

Laurence shakes his head. Of course he's at fault, because... 

“I asked for it.”, he replies.

“No, you didn't.”, Ludwig's answer is quick to come. “You told me that you didn't want it. You couldn't have asked for it.” 

“I still did, even when I haven't said anything.”, Laurence says, still staring anywhere but at Ludwig. “I exist, that's enough. I am just there to be used and I should have known my place.” 

Are these fresh tears falling down his face? Laurence raises a sleeve to wipe them off. 

“Laurence, what the fuck?” 

It's rare to hear Ludwig swear like this. It makes Laurence feel as if he messed up. He cringes and buries himself a bit deeper into the blanket that Ludwig put over him earlier. He had never told Ludwig about his past... Laurence said too much. 

“You don't exist to be used. People can't just go around and violate you just because you exist. And you certainly didn't ask for it.”, Ludwig's hands are grabbing the mattress, Laurence can feel it shift underneath him. The tears he had just wiped away are back again and drop down on the blankets. 

“No, he's... he's right.”, Laurence positively sobs now. “It has always been like it. I thought it would change, but it didn't. I needed to be put back in my place, so...” 

By the gods, what was he talking about? If Ludwig knows about his past, he too would just see him as someone to be used. The person he was. Nothing but a pathetic little whore, willing to sell his body out for a little comfort. Laurence even had thought just a few minutes ago that Ludwig would just take him, if he wanted or not. 

“Laurence.”, Ludwig turns his head to look at him, nothing but deep concern in his eyes. “Please tell me why you think about yourself like this. What happened to you? Nobody should ever think that they deserve to be raped...”

It's the last sentence that makes Laurence spill. Not only his tears but also his words. He is sitting himself up and confesses to Ludwig. All the ugly details about his past. How he had lived on the street. How he had sold his services to anyone who was willing to take him. How he had hoped to escape his life by earning the fee for Byrgenwerth. How he would always be nothing but the pathetic little whore he had become to even get into this place. 

After Laurence is done with the confession, his throat feels raw. He leans against Ludwig, who rubs circles into his back, wondering why he hasn't left in disgust yet. 

“So, the guy who laid with you earlier... did he pay you?”, Ludwig asks. 

Laurence blinks once, twice. A question he hasn't expected. He remembers trying to pretend that Iro was a paying customer, but failed. 

He shakes his head. No, he hasn't been one of his customers. 

“Then you haven't consented to it.”, Ludwig says. “To tell the truth, I don't think you fully consented to your customers either. They paid you, but did you enjoy it?” 

Laurence has to think a while about it. Did he... enjoy it? There were things he hated about it, like when a guy would pull his dick out of his mouth shortly before climaxing just to see his pretty face stained with cum, but he remembers the feeling in his body. How it had reacted to it. How he had gotten off to it even when Iro had threatened him with a knife. He slowly nods. 

“I was asking about if you enjoyed it in your head, not if your body enjoyed it.”, Ludwig says, as if he had read Laurence' mind. 

His head? No, his head hadn't enjoyed it. He loathed it. Had endured it. Had hated that his body got all hot and fuzzy inside, that he made these noises, because that meant that he enjoyed it, that he got off to it and he was so pathetic... 

“Laurence.”, Ludwig once again gets his attention by saying his name. “How old were you even when you started all this?” 

Laurence shrugs. Young, that he remembers. He doesn't remember how young though. He just knows that he's disgusting. He murmurs the last thought out aloud. “I am so disgusting...” 

“No, you aren't.”, Ludwig says. “Laurence, you said that you were doing it for several years. You must have been a child back then. You are not disgusting. You shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed. Everyone who paid you should be ashamed of themselves.” 

Laurence stares at Ludwig. He shouldn't be ashamed, but they? For some reason, it feels like the right thing to say, but he can't wrap his head around it. Not after all the times he had been told that all he was useful for was spreading his legs and sucking off dicks. 

“I... but I...”, Laurence slowly starts, legs shivering. “But I asked for it. It's the only thing I am good for. There's nothing else I can do, but I can at least let them fuck me...” 

“No.”, Ludwig shakes his head again. “You don't have to. You are not your past, Laurence, a past that only happened because you struggled to survive. You had literally nothing, so you sold the only thing you had. These people... they know nothing about you, nothing about your struggles. It doesn't matter how far you were willing to go, if the alternative had been dying from cold and hunger in the streets. You just tried to survive, Laurence.”

New tears form in Laurence' eyes and stream down his face soon. Nobody... nobody had ever said these words to him. The words that he knew, deep inside, but he had convinced his mind that the others were right, that he was wrong and everyone else was right about him. His customers, Micolash, Iro... he had convinced himself to believe their words. 

“So, Laurence, when I ever touch you in a way that you despise...”, Ludwig brushes his hand against Laurence' butt again in demonstration, “Then you tell me that you don't want it. I will stop right away. By the gods, you sometimes started crying during sex, but you always insisted that it was fine. If I had known, I wouldn't have.. how must you have felt during it?” 

Ludwig's face looks positively disgusted. Laurence just grabs his arm and shakes his head. “With you... it always was fine.”, he says. “I wanted it. Always wanted it. Body and... hmmm...head.” 

It would be so much easier to talk when he wouldn't cry so much. 

“Still.”, Ludwig says, “The moment you aren't ready, or you are overwhelmed or you have a bad memory, tell me and I stop right away and give you time to collect yourself or we can stop altogether. That's called consent, Laurence. You don't say no and let them violate you anyway, that's not what consent is.”

Laurence looks at Ludwig's face. His words make sense, so much sense. He knows that they are the truth. That Iro did something unspeakable bad to him. Even if his body had reacted to it and he still felt so ashamed and disgusted about it, he knows that Ludwig's words are the truth. 

“Yes.”, Laurence finally says. “I will... tell.” 

“Good.”, Ludwig says and ruffles over Laurence' hair. “...You can't tell me who he is, right?” 

Laurence shakes his head. He has said too much. If Iro ever finds out... he shudders at the thought of the knife cutting into his skin, drawing blood. 

“He did threaten you, I assume?” 

A quick nod. “Don't ask anymore.”, Laurence then says. “Please.” 

“Alright, alright.”, Ludwig says. “One day I hope you will tell me what transpired today, but for now, I will leave you in peace. You should try and sleep a bit. I am not leaving you alone today anymore.” 

Laurence lays back into the pillows and feels how Ludwig tucks him back into the blanket. “Just so that you know, Laurence, should I ever find out who it was, I will make him pay you for your services... and not with coins.” 

As Laurence closes his eyes he sees the face of Iro in front of him, bloodied and bruised and his glasses broken and dangling in front of his face. 

The thought about Ludwig making sure that he would pay, gives him a strange sense of peace and he feels himself drift off to slumber, feeling a tiny bit better, because at least now he knows that Ludwig will protect him, and if it was from his own warped sense of consent.

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking about if Laurence should confess his past to Ludwig, but I decided that yes, it would make sense, that would explain to Ludwig why he has such a messed up interpretation of consent. 
> 
> I got very emotional writing this. As much as I loathed Laurence' boss fight, he needs some comfort from the (awesome) shit he goes through in lady_gt's verse and when nobody else is going to do it, then I will step up and comfort him.


End file.
